I went to a meeting last night in Kells with Sean Gallagher, organised by the Kells & District Chamber, and it was one of those nodes in life that looking back will effect a few crucial changes. I cannot speak for the town ( I can predict with some accuracy how things will turn out), but I can certainly speak for myself.
I am changing my circles.
Sean mentioned something called the “Nibble Effect” – and I went off and did a bit of reading about it. “The Nibble Theory and the Kernel of Power” by Kaleel Jamison explains this in simple terms.
Imagine a runner in a race – and he is at the back of the running field. How does he react? He has two options – he can increase his energy to speed up and catch up with the field, or he can grab onto the runner in front of him to slow him down and hold him back. The first option needs some effort and a wish to push forward, the second option is an easier solution – he can’t win so he won’t let the other person win either.
This is the Nibble Effect. It can also be used by a person higher up in the chain to “nibble” at those under him or her, to keep them in their place and prevent them from moving ahead, or in an effort to diminish their uniqueness.
We can also allow ourselves to be “nibbled” – in order to be valued by another person or group, we will try and diminish ourselves, self efface in order to fit in.
The net effect is that we do not reach our true potential.
The desire to grow is a natural one –but why does it seem so difficult? Because it is a risky process that leaves one vulnerable and open to being “nibbled”. We may not realise that this perception is only our mindset or self limiting behaviour that may prevent us from achieving our growth potential.
And as we grow, it is our responsibility to help others do the same. This requires finding out what our “kernel” is. Each of us has a unique self that can offer what nobody else can. What are your unshakable beliefs and strengths? Another person’s growth will not diminish you – offer your knowledge, experience and a listening ear willingly.
The truth is that when we “light” or empower other people, just like candles, the result is more light. When everybody grows, there is not less of anybody, but there is more of everybody.
So what to do if you find yourself being nibbled at, or are inclining to nibbling at yourself – what should you do?
Easy, switch circles or the people you surround yourself with. Create a “Nibble Free Zone”. Surround yourself with people who push you to be the best you, and help you realise your own worth. Find people who have achieved what you want and then follow their lead and learn from them.
As Sean said last night – “success leaves clues”.
If you want to create something new, surround yourself with smart people that you enjoy working with and are not afraid of failing with. Anything is possible, any big dream can be achieved if you surround yourself with passionate team mates who share your vision and are able to work both smart and hard.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” says American entrepreneur and motivational speaker John Rohn.
So if you are looking for me – you’ll know where to find me – I’ll be in the Nibble Free Circle.